Driving Your Resume Off the Employment Highway – Funniest Resume Bloopers

Like a computer, resume outcome is only as good as the input. It only takes a small resume oversight to run your career off the job search highway. Often individuals will bring in unsuccessful resumes for review, only to find that with care, errors could have been avoided. Here is content from a few examples:

  • Certifications: Notary Republic
  • Completed evening shit work. (Too bad about the f in shift.)
  • Interests: Women and fishing, not always in that order.

Women or fishing. Resume Bloopers.

  • Social Worker: Assisted undeserved populations.
  • Resume with a picture of a tombstone on the front which read, “This Could be You!” On the back was a resume with an opening indicating the consequences of passing up this candidates excellent background.
  • Retail Clerk: Pretended to be interested in clients so they would buy stuff.
  • Administrative Assistant: Supported staff in daily activities… basically the office bitch.
  • Reasons for leaving the last three jobs. 1). Boss was crazy. 2). Boss was crazy. 3). Boss was crazy.
  • Adept at daily flogging.

Daily flogging. Resume Bloopers

  • Called potential customers for aluminum siding sales preferably while they were eating dinner.
  • Hospital Engineer under personal: Married to Boffo the Clown, available for children’s parties.
  • Proofreader: Ensured eror-free copy.
  • Can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under a minute
  • Can drink a gallon of milk in 10 minutes

Funny milk humor resume

  • Can recite Pi up to 500 digits
  • Can charm anyone, even a pigeon
  • I’m a big dude so I can handle myself in a fight
  • Experienced drinker and party animal. I’m comfortable with working in environments with drunk people.
  • Can hold five baseballs in one hand
  • Gator hunting
  • Understood the movie “Interstellar”
  • Can cook Minute Rice in 58 seconds


Worried that mistakes on your resume are holding you back? Schedule a free appointment to speak with a professional resume writer. Call 1-800-730-3244 to speak with a resume professional today.


If you don’t think you need to have someone look at your resume, take the quiz below.

Should you write your own resume quiz.

Answer these questions.

1. True or False. A resume should always be one page.

Answer: If you answered true, then you should consult a professional

Answer 2: If you still think the answer is true, you REALLY need a professional.

2. Given a choice, you should have a friend, neighbor or relative write your resume or fix your brakes on your car.

Answer: It is more dangerous to have a non-professional write your resume than it is to have them fix your brakes. Your career can have a value into the millions and a poor resume will keep you from the best opportunities where as a bad break job has a much lower risk potential.

3. What is the best day to apply for a job?

Answer: Ask a professional resume writer or ask your neighbor who just fixed your brakes.

4. It is cheaper to write your own resume?

Answer: The bigger question is what would be lost by not having your resume done professionally. If for example, it took six months to find out a home made resume wasn’t working, then the cost of doing it yourself might be ½ a year’s pay which is definitely more than a resume writer would charge you.

5. What could possibly go wrong when doing my own resume?

Answer: Please reread this article from the top of the page.


 

About RazorEdgeResumes

RazorEdgeResumes is the executive resume writing division of A Better Resume Service, Inc., with more than 25 years of professional resume writing experience. We offer a full range of resources to help you get the job you want, from cover letter writing and personal branding to LinkedIn profile optimization. We provide personalized services focused on your specific situation and needs. With a proven track record of helping clients in all sorts of industries, put your trust in RazorEdgeResumes to help you take your career to the next level. Don’t miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime because you aren not prepared. Send us your resume for a free consultation by one of our experienced writers and see what we can do for you. Email your resume to resumes@razoredgeresumes.com or call 1-800-730-3244.

For more resources, visit Job Search Success Central where you can find advice on how to optimize your job search and tailor it to the career you want.

 


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How Alexa Can Help You Find a Job

How Alexa Can Help You Find a Job 

Find a Job Using Your Alexa

Your Alexa isn’t just a tool for setting timers for your laundry cycle, it can also help you find a job!

Through the Alexa app, you can add skills to your device that can help you find a job in this tumultuous job climate.

Adding them is easy, and using them is even easier if you follow these steps.

What Skills to Add and How to Add Them

From your app, go to the Skills and Games section. Under “Categories,” you will see a category called “Business and Finance.” From here, you can sift through some recommended skills to find some that work for you!

One that we highly recommend is the “Interview Me” skill. Through this skill, you can ask Alexa to interview you, and your device will begin asking you job interview questions. If you need to hone your job interview skills, you can bounce your skills off your Alexa device!

Another great job search skill is one literally called “Job Search.” Through this skill, you can ask your Alexa device to find you a job. You can even ask it to find jobs in a specific field and a specific location. For example, you can tell Alexa to find you a teaching job in Chicago.

Wow, What Can’t Alexa Do?

One of the areas where Alexa can’t exactly help you is with writing a professional resume. However, we can help you with that. Across the country, professionals are not landing jobs because solely because their resume is not getting through applicant tracking systems. However, you can get through applicant tracking systems with a professionally-made resume.

Click here for a free consultation with a professional resume writer. They will make a professional resume for you to help you land your dream job.

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Turn Human Resources Consulting Jobs Into Success

Businesses routinely need competent, creative problem-solving in HR. If you love solving problems and feel excited by new, unique challenges, human resources consulting jobs might be a salient fit for you. These bring to the table fresh challenges and a set of responsibilities that can truly help you develop and evolve in the HR field.

If you are contemplating a career in human resources consulting, there are a few things you need to have in place. It’s vital to understand the nuances and complexities of the job and prepare for them the best you can in order to find sustained success.

There are some important ingredients that you need to incorporate into your career and life to ensure success in this career path. Let us talk about some of these.

Learning and Evolving

While formal education is a great foundation to a successful career, learning and evolving can never stop in the HR field. The landscape of business changes constantly and best practices change along with it. Constant learning and evolving are a must if you want to be fully equipped for the challenges of a career in HR.

Learning the core tenets of HR and gaining the relevant experience can be crucial for success in human resources consulting jobs. You can look for opportunities that allow you to grow while teaching you the important concepts and ideas of HR management that can help you think of creative, innovative solutions when you are consulting.

Planning Ahead

Typically, businesses turn to HR consultants to solve unique problems and critical scenarios. This means that you would be expected to step into one-of-a-kind HR situations, quickly learn the dynamics, and provide a viable path forward. This kind of problem-solving skills can involve a strong core understanding of HR management, coupled with the ability to think out of the box.

Planning ahead and having experience of handling adverse situations can help you mold yourself for HR consulting. It can also help to specialize on specific aspects of HR management so that you can provide added value as a consultant and provide targeted solutions for businesses trying to solve specific problem areas.

The Right Outlook

A career in HR consulting can be rewarding and provide the opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment. After you have your initial education in order, it can be a perspicacious idea to look for HR consulting focused certifications and work experience and to find a reputed HR staffing agency to work with for viable employment opportunities. This can help you turn human resources consulting jobs into success.

 

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Pros and Cons of Increasing the Minimum Wage

Why The Minimum Wage Should be Increased

Increasing the minimum wage has been a hot-button issue for years. While many argue that the minimum wage needs to be increased to fit the growing expenses caused by inflation, others argue that increasing the minimum wage will cause too many other things to increase in price.

The question is, “Who is right?” and “What Should Happen?” Although there may not be a straightforward answer, you can make your own decision once you are completely in the know.

Pro: Standard of Living Will Increase

The reality is that there has been a major increase in the cost of living while the minimum wage has remained at a constant. To say that the country is due for an increase in minimum wage is an understatement.

Increasing the minimum wage would lift hundreds of thousands of Americans above the poverty line and take them to a new level.

Con: Inflation Would be Inevitable

 If minimum wage goes up, some companies will have to up their prices in order to make up for their increased labor cost. As to how many companies this would affect is up for debate, but the reality remains that there are some companies that would have no choice but to increase their prices.

Pro: Financial Aid Would Be Reduced

As more people are able to lift themselves out of poverty, the need for financial aid would be lessened. That government money could then be allocate to other things to help build up communities and repair the country after the pandemic.

Con: Possible Job Losses

A major worry is that companies may not be able to afford to keep on all of their employees if minimum wage rises. As a result, they would cut their staff, and overwork the ones that remain as a result.

Job loss is never a good thing, but the reality is that this may not be the case for many companies. Amazon is an example of a company that is making money hand over fist, and really wouldn’t be crushed if they had to pay their employees a few bucks more per hour.

Pro: It Could Boost the Economy

With the additional money, a lot of people will probably just put it towards paying off bills. However, a lot of other people will now be able to buy things they have always wanted like new electronics, new furniture and  even new appliances. Basically, this means that a lot of this money from increasing the minimum wage will be put back into the economy.

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LinkedIn Has a New Job Tool to Combat COVID

LinkedIn COVID tool

LinkedIn’s New Job Search Tool is Pandemic Proof

The pandemic has obviously taken its toll on many professionals across the country. From record-setting unemployment records to people changing their career path altogether in order to find work.

Luckily, LinkedIn seems to realize just how hard it is for their network of more than 700 million people. In a recent blog post, LinkedIn announced that they are releasing a new tool that helps people find jobs a little outside of their comfort zones.

What Does the Tool Do?

Career Explorer is meant to help professionals find jobs that they are qualified to do, but might not be jobs directly in their industry.

For example, if you have experience working as a print designer and that’s where you are used to working, this tool might find you a job as a graphic designer. Basically, the tool takes all of your experience and skills to help find more jobs that you can do.

How Do I Use it?

The tool is currently in beta and is also only available in English as of now. It still works, but it is clearly limited for the time being.

Enter in where you live and what you do for a living, and the tool will tell you other jobs that you may be qualified to do. From there, you can start looking for those jobs on LinkedIn.

You can find the tool by clicking here.

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Things to Be Thankful For in 2020

Things to be thankful for in 2020.

Why You Should Remain Thankful Even During the Pandemic

With a massive pandemic, a stressful election, a socially divided country and even killer bees, it can be very hard to find things to be grateful for this year. With that being said, there have been many things to be grateful for in 2020.

This holiday season, hold onto some of these things during your darkest moments to help remind you of how much worse things could be.

Biden Won the Election

Despite the tens of millions of people who voted from Donald Trump and the president’s groundless attempts to prove that the election was fraudulent, the fact remains that Joe Biden won the election and he will be sworn in this January.

Despite where your political views may land, the truth is that the only way to get the U.S. back to globalizing is with a Biden presidency.  Biden’s plans for the future of the U.S. economy are far more productive than Trump’s. Also, Biden’s plans for rebuilding after the pandemic are also much more realistic than Trump’s.

You Are Healthy

With millions of cases and about a quarter of a million of U.S. citizens dead, it’s hard to believe that anyone in the country doesn’t know someone who has gotten the virus or even died.

However, if you are reading this, that probably means that you are healthy and well, which is more than can be said for millions of others.

It’s true that you may have lost someone due to the coronavirus, but you are doing okay and that is significant.

The Unity Created By the Pandemic

Many things drove people apart this year. From the social divide created after the murder of George Floyd to one of the most stressful elections in U.S. history, it’s hard to believe that people are united at all.

However, the pandemic has created a great deal of unity out of necessity. Families and friends have been communicating via Zoom to keep up to date with what’s happening in everyone’s lives. Furthermore, the amount of support for essential workers and frontline workers has been astounding. People have sent care packages and extra masks to healthcare workers to assist them during these trying times.

A Vaccine is On the Way

Not one, but two different pharmaceutical companies have created highly effective vaccines to combat COVID-19. To make matters better, they are expected to be available to the public by early 2021.

Although that may seem like an eternity away, rest assured that there is currently a light at the end of the tunnel.

Unemployment is Way Down

At the height of the pandemic, the unemployment rate rivaled that of the Great Depression. However, as of now no state has an unemployment rate greater than 6%. If you are back on the job hunt, rest assured that jobs are returning and that you can land one.

If you need some help, you can start by hiring a professional resume writer to make you a better resume. To schedule a free consultation with a professional resume writer, click here.

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How to Tell Your Job That You Have COVID

How to Break the News That You Have COVID

None of us want to catch the coronavirus, but with 10,000,000 cases in the U.S. and nearly a quarter-million deaths, it’s harder to avoid than we would hope.

If you come down with the coronavirus, there are now a ton of things plaguing your mind; one of which being how you are going to tell your boss. One thing that you need to keep in mind is that there is a protocol now for what you are SUPPOSED to do in this situation.

Follow this simple list of steps on what you should do next, and then focus on getting better.

Stop Going to Work

This should be self-explanatory, but we cannot stress just how important this step is. If you have COVID, you cannot go into work until you are either asymptomatic, or you no longer have the virus.

Call or email your boss immediately to tell them that you have virus and that you cannot go into work.

What to Say in Your Message

Your message to your boss should be short and sweet. First, explain that you either tested positive or that you are showing symptoms of the coronavirus and that you should not go into work as a result.

Explain how you are feeling and whether or not you are showing symptoms. If you are showing symptoms, tell your boss when you started experiencing them. If you started feeling sick while at work, your boss may need to figure out who you might have come into contact with, and who else should be tested.

Conclude the message by explaining that you have plans to get tested again and that your boss can call or message you if they have other questions.

Basically, for your message, you want to accomplish the following:

  1. Explain that you have COVID
  2. Say when you started showing symptoms
  3. Say who, if anyone, you came into contact with while sick
  4. Say you are available to talk
  5. Explain that you have plans to get tested again

Check Your Company’s Policy

Next, you need to look into your company’s policy for sick leave. Remember, you may be out of work for a full two weeks so this is now massively important. Read over the policy and speak with your company’s HR rep if you have any questions.

Monitor Your Symptoms and Give Your Boss Updates

If you are not showing any symptoms, there is a huge chance that you are no longer contagious and can return to work. At the very least this can that you are ready to go in for your second test.

If your health is deteriorating, you need to let your boss know that you may be out of work for longer than expected. If your health is improving, let your boss know so that they can prepare for your return.

With everything, make sure you talk with a medical professional about your symptoms and the possibility of you returning to work.

Talk About Working Remotely

The two most important things that you need to do while at home are resting up and pushing fluids. However, if you are feeling up to working, talk to your boss about doing some work from home. This will keep them happy while also keeping you active and productive.

 

 

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Most Popular Jobs in Every State

Most Popular Jobs by State

Jobs Popular in Your Home State

If you are looking for work or if you are trying to figure out which direction you want your career to go, you might want to look at what is popular where you live.

In many states, there are jobs that are more popular anywhere else in the country. This means that if you are looking for work, jobs in that industry are a lot easier to get as there is a larger need for them.

We did our research and found the most popular jobs in every single state. Find your state in the list below, and start polishing your resume. If you need help with that, click here to schedule a free consultation with a professional resume writer.

Most Popular Jobs in Every State

  • Alabama: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Alaska: School teacher
  • Arizona: Customer service rep
  • Arkansas: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • California: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Colorado: Computer software developer
  • Connecticut: School teacher
  • Delaware: Secretary
  • District of Columbia: Lawyer
  • Florida: School teacher
  • Georgia: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Hawaii: Cook
  • Idaho: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Illinois: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Indiana: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Iowa: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Kansas: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Kentucky: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Louisiana: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Maine: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Maryland: Secretary
  • Massachusetts: School teacher
  • Michigan: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Minnesota: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Mississippi: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Missouri: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Montana: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Nebraska: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Nevada: Retail sales
  • New Hampshire: Secretary
  • New Jersey: Secretary
  • New Mexico: Secretary
  • New York: Nursing aide
  • North Carolina: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • South Dakota: Farm manager
  • Ohio: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Oklahoma: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Oregon: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Pennsylvania: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Rhode Island: School teacher
  • South Carolina: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • South Dakota: Farm Manager
  • Tennessee: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Texas: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Utah: Computer software developer
  • Vermont: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Virginia: Computer software developer
  • Washington: Computer software developer
  • West Virginia: School teacher
  • Wisconsin: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver
  • Wyoming: Truck driver, delivery driver and tractor driver

As you can see, working as a truck driver, delivery driver and a tractor driver are very popular in many states. However, if you want to work as a teacher or a computer software developer, there are certainly states where it is a very popular job. Join 100,000 others in following this twitter account for constant opportunities.

If you want to find one of these jobs, you need to put forward your best resume. Learn how to craft the best resume, and get at them!

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Businesses Thriving During the Pandemic

jobs that are thriving during COVID-19

Jobs That Are Succeeding During the Pandemic

Left and right, businesses are closing their doors as a direct result of the pandemic.

Unfortunately, although many businesses are doing everything correctly, the lack of need for what they offer is causing them to close their doors for good.

However, many different industries are have nothing but success during the pandemic. If you are currently looking for a job, and especially want some job security, consider entering some of these fields.

Cleaning Services/Sanitizing Services

Businesses everywhere are trying to reduce the risk of spreading the coronavirus to both their employees and their clientele. As a result, cleaning services and sanitizing services are being hired to clean and sanitize businesses on a weekly, sometimes daily basis.

Cleaning services don’t just need workers to clean and sanitize workspaces, they need managers, dispatchers, marketers, SEO specialists and more! Keep a look out for some of these businesses while on your job search.

Delivery Services

Although may restaurants have finally reopened their dining areas, many people still don’t feel safe with dining in at an eatery. Because of this, delivery services like GrubHub and Uber Eats are hiring in droves.

Also, as many people don’t feel safe shopping in an actual store, delivery services like UPS, Amazon and the United States Postal Service need drivers now more than ever.

Even if you don’t want to do this full time, working as a GrubHub driver or an Uber Eats Driver can be done part-time and as your side hustle.

Tutors

Although many schools have kept their doors open during the pandemic, many have decided to conduct all of their teaching remotely for the entire academic year. As an unfortunate result, some students aren’t getting the extra academic attention they need. This is where tutors come in handy.

If you have teaching experience, or if you have knowledge in a specific subject such as math, English or chemistry, throw a posting online to offer your tutoring services. You can make money as a virtual tutor and also get the satisfaction of helping a young mind make the honor roll.

Grocery Stores

During the pandemic, the country’s “essential workers” such as its grocery store employees are being praised for their commitment to their work, and for obvious reason.

Although during the lockdown people were quarantining themselves within their homes, they all eventually had to get food from the outside, and this food came from their local grocery stores.

Grocery stores everywhere need employees to man the registers, stock shelves, receive orders, maintain inventory, manager, supervise and even handle marketing and promotions. Go to your own local grocery store today to see what jobs are available.

How to Get These Jobs

The best way to land one of these jobs is to hire a professional resume writer to write you a professional resume. These resumes offer you the best shot of getting an interview with a hiring manager.

Click here to schedule a free consultation with a professional resume writer.

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How to Ask For the Job During an Interview

How to ask for a job during the interview

Asking For a Job During An Interview

During job interviews, we can get very excited to the point where we want to get hired there on the spot.

Although you may really want the job, you don’t want to come off as overly eager as it can hurt your case. However, there are ways to indirectly ask for the job that won’t hurt your chances of getting it. These methods will advance the interview while putting the idea of you getting the job into the mind of the hiring manager.

Express Your Interest

There is nothing wrong with saying to the hiring manager that you are “extremely interested” in the position.

You can also tell the hiring manager that you look forward to potentially working with the company or the hiring manager themselves. Excitement and interest can both be great things in an interview when they aren’t used in excess. Your excitement may be remembered by the hiring manager when it comes time to make a final decision. In some cases, if a hiring manager knows that you are passionate about the job, they may offer you the job as they know you are interested in the position.

Express Your Confidence in Your Ability

One of the most important things that you need to tell the hiring manager is that you are confident in your ability to do this job. You can back up this confidence by telling a story about how you did a similar job or how you have accomplished the job’s goals before.

Expressing your confidence can also make the hiring manager more confident in you as well. If the hiring manager is confident in you and your abilities, you are more likely to get a job offer.

Ask If There is Anything Else They Need to Know

If you have proven that you have the ability to perform all of the tasks required by this company, you should get a job offer or an answer soon.

However, this still isn’t always the case. A lot of time, companies refuse to hire until they interview everyone who applied for the position. With that being said, there is something that you can do to prove that you are the person for the job.

Ask the interview if there is anything else that they are looking for, or if there is anything else that they need to know. If you have everything that they are looking for, then why interview anyone else? If they don’t need to know anything else, then why not give you an answer now!

Granted, you shouldn’t beg for an answer there and then, but these are some ideas to put into their head!

Tell Them That You’re Willing to Start Soon!

A lot of the time, businesses need to hire for a position sooner rather than later. Something you can do to better your chances is to say you can start as soon as they need you. In fact, you could give them an exact date that you would be willing to start.

If the company is deciding between you and one other person for a job, they may go with you if you are willing to start sooner than your competition.

Ask For the Next Steps

The best thing you can do is to ask for the next steps of the hiring process. You are not asking for the job outright, but you are asking for what comes next.

This may include a second interview, talking with another person, sending in additional material or even hiring papers. Ask the hiring manager for the next steps, and get moving with your potential new job.

Go in With a Winning Resume!

If you have a job interview on the horizon, make sure that you submit a professional resume! Click here to schedule a free consultation with a professional resume writer!

 

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